Blended Families

Blended families are a thing of the present!

Roughly 16% of families today are blended. Of that 16%, these families of all races!

There are few people (I know none) that have not experienced a blended family in some way. I, myself, come from a blended family as well as my husband. My mom married my father after giving birth to my brother. My parents met when my mother was three months pregnant with my brother! :0 To be completely clear, my father cut my brother’s umbilical cord. While my brother is not my father’s biological son, he is an amazing representation of how a stepfather can be a dad. That’s a story for another day! Wink Wink* My father-in-law met my mother-in-law when my husband was 3 years old! He is the only father my husband has and remembers.

So what is a blended family?

Most, if not all, know what a blended family is these days. Google expresses the term by “a family consisting of a couple and their children from this and all previous relationships.” This definition of a blended family represents the majority of the families we experience today. How many times have you met a family and there are step-children and biological children? Hey, in some cases there are all of the above mentioned plus adopted children! There are several different forms of blended families. As society evolves so does the terminology. There is so much beauty in a blended family. In a blended family, there is a lot of love with layers. It takes a certain amount of dedication and love in order to love and treat other children as your own. Heavy is the heart that can’t blend! 

What are the pros and cons of a blended family?

This is the part of a blended family that can be slightly scary. It is hard to feel comfortable with someone who is not the biological parent to be involved with your children. The pros to a blended family are tremendous. First, there is an additional person to love your child(ren). This person is just an extension of you and your co-parent. Additional support and love comes with the stepparent. This can add tremendous value onto the life of your child(ren). A con of a blended family is an obvious one! The stepparent could simply be CRAY! While all of this is lovely, there are surely cons! Not only can the stepparent be cray, there are other difficulties that are faced in a blended family. One of those cons is the co-parent (gasps). The co-parent can be a huge benefit or nuance in your current blended family. If there is not a good relationship amongst co-parents, this will pour into your family. The children are also negatively affected. This con is so serious, that it can outweigh all of the pros! Another cons could be the different approaches to raising children. The last thing you want is to expect your partner to put your kid in time out when they are uber excited to ask your child to get the switch for a spank! 

How to manage a blended family?

The best advice I can give to someone who has or will soon have a blended family, is to manage it based on your preferred family life. To be honest, there is no handbook. Communicate about the dynamics and expectations of how YOUR family will work! Please, please, please do not mimic what you see other families do. You have to do what feels right for you and your family. It can be difficult for all parties involved, especially the children. Therefore you have to do what comes natural to you. I am not saying to go with the flow. More so, be natural and genuine. Be inviting and loving in the best way you can to all members of the family. Lastly, remember that communication is important. Make sure you and your partner are clear on things such as discipline and communication. You never want to assume that your partner disciplines in the exact manner you do. Communication with both biological parents are important. The two men or women should have their own individual relationship that is in support of the success of the child(ren). After all, it takes a village, right? 

So while each of these very important men in my life have alternative dads, they have had the best dads. Dads that have been nothing but supportive and raised them to be outstanding men themselves!